Small child

My child doesn't want to say hello ...

My child doesn't want to say hello ...


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One of the biggest childhood "nightmares"? Certainly, forcing you to greet the "Auntie" you just met, smiling at the lady in the greengrocer, or hugging a person who you don't even feel like getting close to. Because it falls out, because it must be done, because culture requires it. Although many parents are moving away from the obligation to say hello, it is still the case that some try to make the child "more open" to others by some tricky ways. Does that make sense?

"Rude" behavior towards adults

A small child who does not speak, when a stranger, little-known or not well-liked calls by name, is not rude. He is also not badly brought up. Lack of smile, silence, or hiding behind mom and dad's feet are natural. Especially at certain stages of development.

Most young children (most, which doesn't mean all) he feels embarrassed in the company of unknown or little-known people. Especially if in their opinion they are "ugly" and they are simply afraid of them. The reason for concern may be: strong voice, tall, heavy, or even glasses or a mustache. The more you look away from your loved ones, the more anxious you can be. In addition, children usually remember for a long time any "unpleasantness" and in their opinion dangerous situations in which they felt uncomfortable in the company of a person with whom they do not want to greet and talk. The reasons for their reluctance from the parent's perspective can be trivial and unfortunately often difficult to reach. It also happens that the kids sense their parents' reluctance, even when they are hidden, and do not accept people whose parents do not like them too much.

Antipathy or indifference of a child to a known or just met person deepens when misunderstood. When the parent asks: "Well, honey, say good morning", the child usually feels even more perplexed. Instead, it is better to say "now we say good morning, Mrs. Kowalska" and answer the greeting yourself. If the child does not speak, do not press. Let the toddler have a chance to follow his own feelings.

A small child (about two-three-four years old) who is not greeted is not malicious, badly brought up. This behavior is rather due to natural shyness and yet uneducated social behavior.

Feelings or appearances?

What do we care about most about our parents: to make the child look "polite" or to understand their emotions and learn to deal with them?

Psychologists recommend not to embarrass the baby, not to comment on his behavior, but to show understanding and support. Small children can't pretend. They are honest and spontaneous. Are these the features we particularly like in them?