School-age child

The child has no friends - worry if it will pass?

The child has no friends - worry if it will pass?


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When a child has no friends, we wonder why this is so. Why can't our daughter or son make friends with anyone? Why are they lost and withdrawn? Is the problem the attitude of our child, or maybe in what company he is in?

Child development and ability to build relationships

The child's development takes place on many levels. The toddler changes physically, which we observe seeing him grow. It also matures in emotional and social terms. It is good when its development is harmonious. Guarantee that it will be, but unfortunately we don't have it.

Sometimes we can observe various alarming signals. One of them is trouble communicating with peers. Lack of skills to establish contacts or maintain them may be a disturbing signal, but is it always the case?

The child has no friends. Shy child

There are children who easily establish social contacts and those who have a problem with it. Daring toddlers, entering a new company with no problem and those who need a lot of time to get used to. It is not difficult to predict that open and brave children will have more freedom in making friends. It will be easier for them to build a relationship.

If your child has no friends, maybe the reason is his shyness, withdrawal, lack of self-confidence? By working on these qualities, teaching your toddler how to deal with his own shyness, you can solve the problem of making contacts. The effects sometimes have to wait a long time, but it's worth ...

Overweight child with glasses

Unfortunately, children at an early school age, and later, are ruthless. That is why they can see and use their "otherness" in a flash. Especially if a friend obviously has a problem with this. Overweight, a large defect in eyesight, short or very tall, wearing a flat on the teeth can be a source of mockery. Anything that makes a child stand out from his peers can be badly received.

A similar situation may occur during puberty. Children growing up much faster or much later than their peers are usually under "fire". Only wisely supporting children, building their sense of value and working with the entire peer group can bring the expected results.

The child has no friends. A talented child

Very often the child has no friends because he is perceived by the environment as "different". This problem may have very talented, outstanding, developed children over their age. Such babies usually do not find themselves in a peer group, but function perfectly among adults or children much older than themselves.

There may also be another problem. Gifted children may have trouble building longer relationships. They often treat their peers with a kind of superiority. They can't "get down" to their level, that's why they have fairly loose contacts with everyone. They last as long as the child seems "interesting".

Gifted children often meet with many people, but they do not have a so-called "favorite friend". Of course, this is not a cause for concern. Children, especially in the first years of primary school, often like to change their best companion. Their preferences for "best colleagues" are changing rapidly. Frequent conflicts, insults, and then equally quick reconciliation are natural.

When we have an exceptionally talented child at home, it would be worthwhile not only to support intellectual development, but also to sensitize the child by showing mechanisms that control social contacts.

The child has no friends. "Difficult" child

Not only very gifted children with excellent learning skills, but also those in extreme position may have trouble establishing relationships. Children who have problems with learning or having educational difficulties.

Aggressive children from dysfunctional families may also have trouble dealing with peers. Often, through "difficult behaviors", they try to attract attention, which unfortunately most often aggravates the problem, rather than solving it.

Only very reliable and systematic work with a few years old can help him build healthy peer relationships. That is why it is so important that both teachers and parents do everything to include the child in need of therapy or other supportive measures.

The child has no friends - what to do?

Each of us has different social needs. One child will feel good, "mate" with two friends, seeing them from time to time. The second will need frequent, even daily social contacts after school in a larger group of people. There are periods when the level of social activity of our child will be extremely high and such when it will decrease significantly. It is understandable that sometimes a few-year-old may prefer to stay at home rather than go out with his friends. Mute periods can last up to several weeks.

It is worth observing the toddler and responding to his needs, remembering that for a healthy development, the child needs company.

If the period "without friends" lasts a long time, it is worth looking at the situation.

  • offer your child to invite a friend home,
  • meet parents living nearby or parents of children from a child's class,
  • talk to the teacher how the child behaves in a peer group,
  • support the child's self-esteem,
  • read therapeutic books about building relationships,
  • watch how the child behaves
  • be by, don't press on the conversation,
  • children usually start telling stories when they spend more time with their parents,
  • help to solve the child's problems on a regular basis,
  • check if the child is not ashamed, what is the reason for the embarrassment of the daughter or son?
  • maybe martial arts training that will strengthen self-confidence
  • A balanced diet and going out to the pool can help you slim.

If the child has no friends, is not accepted among peers, it is worth seeking help from a psychologist.



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