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The feminine ideal of motherhood in society remains in a sacred space, in which today it is difficult to fit. This place is full of responsibilities, demands and duties, and the archetype demands the renunciation of oneself to sustain the maternal myth. Tiredness, disappointment, and rebellion do not fit this threshold of perfection well.
But why do I want to be a perfect mother if I can be a happy mother? Educating my children in the best possible way, involving myself in all aspects of their lives, reflecting on their needs and informing me about the best way to help them implies wanting to give them the best, but that is not why we are free from mistakes. We have to assume that as human beings we can make mistakes, sometimes, in the altruistic act of loving our children.
And it is precisely this experience of love, which I feel as a mother, that makes me happiest. Maternal love is unparalleled and is something that is discovered for the first time throughout pregnancy. Surely, I have never felt so accompanied as that year when I carried my baby inside my belly.
Later, that unconditional love made me happier when I was able to enjoy my baby after his birth and accompanied him during his later days, months and years in his development. Surely maternal love has a mystery, a hidden truth that no one has yet been able to decipher, but that makes women happy, even if as mothers we do not achieve perfection.
For children, for all children in general, their mother is the greatest, but their maternal ideal is imaginary and changing, as much as they change throughout their childhood. The maternal figure builds a very strong bond from the birth of the child, which will change and transform as the circumstances of the lives of both change. Thus, as the son receives the love of his parents, he finds other loves in his life, and he will be able to love and be happy by giving to others what his parents gave him. And that's the real job of a mom: dgive as much love to your child as you need to be a whole person.
However, I believe that we should never renounce ourselves, or our personal and professional aspirations, without trying to combine both, motherhood and our goals. Personal enrichment is not only good for oneself, but also for children, because to be happy we need a balance in the different planes of life. It is useless to give children everything they want, if we do not teach them to value it. Loving children also means recognizing our failures. I am convinced that the first duty of a mother is to be happy and to be happy, you cannot be a self-sacrificing mother to death. I am not nor do I pretend to be a perfect mother, I prefer my home to any pedestal.
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