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Parental Alienation Syndrome in children of separated parents

Parental Alienation Syndrome in children of separated parents



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The psychologist Javier Urra, who was the first Ombudsman for Children in the Community of Madrid, talks to us about the issue of parental alienation in the families of separated or divorced parents. When parents turn their love into hatred and use their child as a weapon, the consequences are disastrous for the child. To avoid this, parents have to know how to handle the breakup and use the help of professionals, if necessary.

Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is highly debatable because PAS does not appear in our psychiatric manuals, but what is real are the facts. There are many men and women who use their child in terrifying ways against each other and lead him to have negative thoughts about the other parent. What consequences does that have on the son? Unlinking. The child detaches himself from his father or mother and is not forced to do anything, he does not feel concerned, he does not feel summoned by affection. Consequently, we are creating kids with distant psychopathic characteristics, high emotional toughness.

The separation processes are being very badly managed. In Spain, we have modified the legislation so that the processes are very fast, but despite this, the interests for the custodians (in case I let you see the child or not, in case you have to pay me food and you do not pay me), they are causing incalculable pain.

It is very difficult to protect a child in case of parental alienation. You can minimize the damage, but it's like putting on band-aids when you're being bombarded. The damage is done, the emotion is damaged, and the security is lost. The child depends on the love and security of money. The formula is to teach adults to learn to handle a break so as not to use the child as a throwing weapon. They will come together as a couple, and then they will surely part. Once they break up, the important thing is to get it right. For the well-being of the children, a mutually agreed separation is essential and to reach it, you can turn to professionals, if you see that you need them.

When two people can't stand each other, life takes us on different paths. It is important not to turn love into hate, something that is very easy, and that later on, family and friends, instead of trying to dilute it, enhance it. We all have to educate ourselves in the philosophy of letting live, because in the end life is approximately 30,000 days, no more.

Marisol New

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Video: Parental Alienation in Child Custody Litigation (August 2022).